Not all children are bad and this is sometimes easy to forget. Based on the news we frequently hear, we tend to view children as cold, unfeeling, and even mean. Though some of them can be this way, most are not always. Even the most street-hardened child has a softer side and it is the job of the foster parent to encourage it.
We tend to overlook the softer side of children because we are busy dealing with their bad behavior. We may be coming up with appropriate consequences for their actions or searching for ways to prevent the behavior from repeating. This situation does not lend itself to searching for their good points. Tough children do not make things any easier because they do not want us to see their softer side.
Even the wildest girls can be the best mothers. Teens who frequently have run-ins with the law may be excellent helpers for the elderly. Older children grow into adults who care for disabled youth. These are just a few examples of how even the most troubled children in foster care exhibit their softer side. By assisting them with doing this, foster parents help the transformation happen.
Foster parents should provide children with opportunities to display their softer side. Sometimes, mean thoughts and bad attitudes that lead to violence are just an attempt to act or look tough. Peers expect this so the softer side must be hidden in order for the child to have successful relationships with people of the same age.
The trick is to show children that being compassionate is an admirable trait, not a weakness. Feelings of kindness and caring should be part of the home atmosphere. In order for them to grow into caring and loving adults, children in foster care should be encouraged by their caregivers to express the compassionate aspect of their personality.
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